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RateBeer Archives > Fun & Humour
16 Sexiest Beers on the Planet
From Sheepshaggers to Hot Monkey Love
Fun & Humour
February 20, 2003
Written by SilkTork
Southampton, ENGLAND -
Presenting the sexiest beers on the planet...
16) Sheepshaggers Gold brewed by Cairngorm. The Welsh and the Aussies do it (play rugby that is), but the rest of us would need to be very desperate. Sheepshaggers comes bottom of the pile.
15) Naughty Fish brewed by Streichs. Wet and slippery at least, and conjures up images of mermaids, but that smell doesn’t go down well.
14) Santa’s Come brewed by Poachers. Santa only comes once a year so he needs a big bag to hold his load.
13) Hot Monkey Love brewed by The Wharf Rat. Likes playing with his banana, but you’d have to be nuts to swallow this one.
12) Spanker brewed by Nelson. A little bit kinky - don’t overdo this one or you won’t sit down for a week.
11) Randy Monk brewed by Goodmanham. The barmaid seems to enjoy pulling the Randy Monk, but the rest of us just enjoy pulling the barmaid.
10) Old Legover brewed by Daleside. Once you’ve got your leg over, age doesn’t seem to matter. And with age comes experience.
9) Hard Willy brewed by Arundel. You’ll need this if you plan for a long session. But don’t hold it by yourself - pass it around the ladies.
8) Slap ‘n’ Tickle brewed by Wessex. A little bit of Slap ‘n’ Tickle round the back of the pub is very tasty, but it does make the knees tremble a bit.
7) Turn On Your Love Light brewed by Bank Street. Candles, soft music, and some lubrication juice will turn on anyone’s love light.
6) Old Gee Spot brewed by Wessex. The old ones are the best ones, and this one hits the spot. You might need a Hard Willy to carry on.
5) Sexy Girl Pils brewed by Huyghe. Nice body (as displayed on the bottle) - this one gives good head, showing off the finer points and providing much excitement.
4) Rubbel Sexy Lager brewed by Huyghe, This one needs a little rubbing to reveal the naked truth, but then the froth bursts out. And after that you can open the bottle and start drinking.
3) Blue Girl brewed by Oriental. Every man needs an Oriental Blue Girl to enjoy on his own.
2) Great Sex Honey brewed by Gore Range. Pour slowly into every available orifice, then let your tongue move around. But no, please, don’t do this on your own - Great Sex Honey is for sharing.
1) Climax Cream brewed by Climax. Refreshes the parts other beers can’t reach. Apply liberally, and then drink deep.
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