Fort Collins Retro Red

Brewed by Fort Collins Brewery
Style: Amber Ale
Fort Collins, Colorado USA

Retro is all well and good, but if you are going to bring something back from the brink of oblivion, or even the deep dark endless depths of despairing insignificance, then you better damn well make it good. Fort Collins Brewing out of (drum roll please) Fort Collins, Colorado is a new brewery to Florida, so of course a fellow friend and distributor would like me to carry their beer. I don’t sell anything I can’t taste first, hence, the bottle of Fort Collins Retro Red sitting in front of me.

She poured a very bright, polished garnet with deep ruby highlights which turn almost black near the bottom of my glass. What little head that tries to sputter to life fades faster than it can even try to form, leaving me with only a feeble ringlet made of extra large bubbles. Dipping my nose deep into her harrowing depths, I am met with powdered chocolates and hot cocoa mix, hold the marshmallows, while sweet, saccharine sugar water waits in the background. That overly sweet sugar water is a lot like the syrupy liquid one finds in a can of pitted black cherries. Love them, but not necessarily in my beer. I have to give her credit for carrying her large powdered chocolate long into each quaff, even going so far as to add a touch of dry, dark woods. Despite her lack of lace and foam, her mouthfeel is surprisingly bubbly and seltzer-esque, popping and fizzing in my mouth with each quaff. It’s a bit distracting, but that could be a good thing seeing as how her palate continues a downward spiral into a very bitter hard finish which stinks of old vanilla extract and stale soda pop. And people wonder why I can’t drink soda anymore; it’s nasty artificially sweetened crap riddled with harsh chemicals which only tastes worse the more you drink it. Adding to her hard finish are some waxy citrus rinds. At this point my gag reflex is starting to kick in which tells me to stop while I am somewhat ahead. As it stands, Fort Collins is at 0 wins and so am I; when bad beer is brewed and bottled, nobody wins.

I wanted to like this beer, I really did. After all, I could be considered a queen of both retro and weird, but this was all the bad things about retro and weird which give their namesakes a bad name. Make sense? I have a few more beers, so I am hoping that our future battles are sumptuous meetings of love-making and victory for all.

Another Taco Mac sample in Atlanta. Red/amber pour. Lots of malt on the front of the nose but the hops appear towards the end of the initial "sniff"...flavor is nothing special. caramel malt and some light citrus hops. Not horrible, just not a stand out.

On tap at The Pony in Hells Kitchen. Rather sharp malt tones upfront, which weren’t bad. Body was a bit thin. I didn’t really enjoy this.

Red pour with whispy white head. Aroma of cereal malt, a bit caramel, some hops. Flavor is better than most ambers. Caramel malts with a bit of citrus and mango. Clean finish. Nothing special but not bad to drink.

Bottle sample at the Columbus Alefest on 6/27/09. Clear amber pour with a thin tan head. Homebrewers would be able to help me with the aroma and flavor description on this one. All I can say is it smells like someone’s garage/basement/kitchen when they’re homebrewing. Flavor is about what you would expect that smell to taste like. Odd.

Sample at AleFest Columbus (06/27/09): This beer is a clear reddish-amber color with a thin off-white head that dissipates quickly. Spotty lacing on the glass. Mild caramel malt aroma with a touch of hops. Light body with bready malt, caramel and mild hops flavors. The finish is sweet and malty with a short lightly hopped aftertaste. Straightforward and average overall.

Bottle. Pours dark red. Very nice smell along with a very nice malty flavor. Good beer we have here.

sample on 6/14/09. pours a red color. mild hops lingering through the aroma... average biterness through the medium feel body. sessionable, but why. there is better.