Michelob Ultra

Brewed by Anheuser-Busch InBev
Style: Pale Lager
St. Louis, Missouri USA

Extremely pale yellow. I’ve drank well water with more color. Fizzy and watery mouthfeel. Really has very little flavor, so it is hard to judge any flavor qualities. Nothing offensive, however. It will not make you gag if drunk real fast like some other lite beers. Very little discernable aroma. Hop bitterness undetectable. If you love beer for the flavors and complexities availiable, this is not for you. If you like beer that goes down easy and gets you drunk without enough flavor to be detected over the food you’re eating, then this is for you. It is what it is, and I’m sure they will sell a lot.

I’m being generous with my ratings, and unfortunately, there is no place to put a zero for the spots I put a 1. openwindow’s analogy seems to be fairly accurate.

So there was this hot Latina babe giving out samples at MCAS Miramar Marine Mart, shot skirt and big boobs...Sample poured from a bottle. Very pale yellow, fizzy beer (?) with a small white head. No disernable aroma. Flavor is like grainy seltzer water. Light body is weak with lively carbonation.

Wow, I thought this was ratebeer.com, not RateWater.com. That's why this beer has no carbs, it's water! I recomend you drink this only if your other choice is Budweiser or Bud Light.

imagine a swiftly flowing little creek: if someone twenty yards upstream from you poured a nice lager into the water all at once-- and you had to attempt to scoop it out as it flowed past, this would approximate the shadowy remnant of that beer. take twelve ounces of that watery futility, add some serious environmental damage to the purity of the watershed, and then entirely re-animate it with a grrrreat deal of carbonation, and there is your michelob ultra. in other words, the brewing ingredients are measured in parts per million. the pour, rather than flowing into the glass with a golden lustre, has a silvery look; i was frightened by this, and dismayed, and wanted to close myself in reclusive isolation and prayer until memories of the horror diminished-- but i marshaled my will to carry on. in a tumbler, the brew finally resolved to a very faint yellow, faint as a distant star-- a bland yellow like couscous or the fibers of a used cigarette filter. it had some modest lager-like head, given to minimalism, and the long orbs of vertical "lace" sometimes looked like the beer was trying to flip me off. ultra has an aroma of soft plastic consumer items-- perhaps a package of tupperware bowls. taste follows through with some microwave-safe container flavor-- a container that may have once held creamed corn. it’s like a mildly steeped tea made of broom bristles; verily a broth of dried grasshopper wings would yield a bolder brew. virtually no bitterness, but what there is suggests an oily discharge from fermenting pickles. it has a revolting kind of artificial sweetness-- like a kernal of your own dried nasal crud on your tongue-- one nearly shivers with the repugnance of it. carbonation is the only element of the brewing process that showed up in force, it fizzes like a sparkler, just waiting for some ingredients to ground it in reality. they never show up, so it hisses like hydrogen peroxide. altogether, it amounts to a shameful tainting of pure water. one is reminded of the heart-wrenching lament of a ship-wrecked sailor, storm-tossed at sea and perishing of thirst, he cries: "water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink!"

Anytime a company advertises a low-carb beer, I am giving it an aweful rating. Fashionable beer upsets me.

My wife (who does not usually like to drink beer) liked this one. Need I say more?

This beer wasn't good or bad. It just wasn't there at all. I remember carbonation but no flavor was attached. God, help the dieters who want to drink.