Tetleys English Ale

Brewed by Leeds (Carlsberg UK)
Style: Bitter
Leeds, England

The commercial description for this beer says “brewed specifically for countries outside the UK”. Well thanks, but NO THANKS! I don’t know why, but all these sort of cans have the same sickening smoothness and chemical taste. Once the artificial head -closely akin to shaving cream in appearance and texture- has formed, the ‘beer” underneath looks completely flat. On the palate it has the feel of diluted sun-tan lotion and doesn’t taste much better. Is this made at a brewery or a chemical factory? Two thirds of this “beer” went down the sink!

14.9 oz nitro-widget-whatsit can. Hazy frothy caramel body clears into a dark amber with a lasting solid quarter-inch off-white head...niminal malty/biscuity nose, seems a bit stale...bland cardboardy flavor, metallic bitterness, very watery...I drank it all, so it wasn’t anything awful -- but I think I’m done with these damn bland nitro thingies...

Draught, at Rose & Crown. Amber with white head, quickly gone, no lacings. Light aroma of malt and hops. Bitter taste of hops, but thin. Overall impression is water and no taste. Thin and flat.

Canned. Copper colored with a creamy head. Smells mildy malty and hoppy with some metallic notes, but overall very subtle. Nice smooth mouthfeel and a light touch of hop bitterness in the finish. It is what it is, a fairly unexciting bitter that fits into the category just fine. Slighty buttery on the tongue. Nondescript, drinkable.

Smells like makeup, and it tastes weird, like toasty bread and weird alcohol and chemicals... like makeup or something... ugh... the texture is ultra smooth, like silk on the tongue, but it completely lacks flavor. Looked like chud when I poured it out of the nitro can... settles out into a normal looking beer. I won’t buy this again, it’s a terrible ripoff.

Malty caramel with some fruitiness and mild floral hops. Clear copper coloured body is topped by dense, fine-bubbled, off-white (nitro) head that lasts forever and laces nicely. Nild, ’smooth’ malt flavour is quite fruity and has no detectable hop flavour or bitterness. Smooth texture is fairly bland in the mouth. The widget in this can made the loudest noise I’ve ever heard when opening a beer. Can.

The head would hardly dissipate thanks to the nitrogen, and even once it did, the aroma was hard to get to -- very bland and malty. The beer gas gives it a taste of almost no carbonation, which I can’t stand -- passing that off as "creamy" when there are stouts like Mackeson XXX around is kind of insulting. Very little flavor, and what’s there is mostly malt. I’d hoped for a bit more hop bitterness, but there wasn’t any flavor on either side. Boring and flat, but the nitrogen makes it look good in a pint.

On tap. Color looked like the ice tea my wife was drinking. Averaged sized off white head. Aromas and tastes of malts. Toffee and caramel. Smooth and creamy body. Overall, very easy to drink.