Victoria Bitter

Brewed by Carlton & United Breweries (CUB)
Style: Pale Lager
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

A bitter that’s mass produced and tastes like it. Golden colour with an average head that if you keep tapping your glass will stay until it goes flat so you better drink it quick. Hardly any smell to talk about although does have a slight hop fragrance. Still its better then a few beers in Australia just.

Bottled, on tap and canned. Can be drinkable if served at about -2 degrees Celcius (you figure out how that’s physically possible given the high water content of urine). You know, these beers do serve some useful pupose; they make quite well-callibrated yardsticks. When you say "Damn, that was terrible!" and somebody asks "Really - how shit was it?", you have a fair resolution available to you in your response: Just plain crap - Toohey’s New. Really crap - VB. Sickeningly bad - Melbourne Bitter. Maybe it’d be cheaper than petrol for washing carparts - KB.

Little or no head, best served really cold and when really thirsty. Aftertaste best washed clean with water followed by a better beer.

Only good when served ice cold. Looks ok from the tap. No special taste to speak of and leaves a chemical taste.

Clear pale straw in color. Corn and metallic with a weird chemical taste. This is terrible.

Bottled. Golden colour, minimal head. Hoppy, a bit skunky nose. Bitter hoppy flavour with almost no aftertaste. Total waste of money.

surely this is just a lager, i cant see anything remotly bitter about it.

Hmm, awful sweet malty flavour followed by a bilious aftertaste and accompanying hangover the next day. Shocking.