Beer Ratings: Rants

Corporate Ladder Brewing Company Palmetto, Florida

--Sample, thanks fonefan! -- Murky pale yellow, some floaters, no head. Missing tge zero for rating appearance here. Aroma of banana and syrup. Extremely sweet with medium body and viscous, mealy mouthfeel. Guava, syrup and banana. No trace of fermentation. Typical ice cream topping stuff. Assuming that it's gluten free as it contains no malt.

3 Sons Brewing Company Dania Beach, Florida

Sample at MBCC2024, Copenhagen. Colour is pinkish cloudy red with small white head. Aromas and flavours: : Berries, red berries, vanilla, sugary sweetness....

Juicy Brewing Company Herndon, Virginia

Sample at MBCC2024, Copenhagen. Colour is pinkish red with small white head. Aromas and flavours: Strawberries, vanilla..

Port City Brewing Company Alexandria, Virginia

Hoppier than its rated 20 IBU, it does get better while cold but a bit too crisp and not enough malt for the style. Happy to support Alexandria but need to find something a bit more hedonistically enjoyable

Vakka-Suomen Panimo (Stadin Panimo) Uusikaupunki, Southwest Finland

--Sample, thanks oh6gdx! -- Hazy deep golden, small head. Sour rubber and apricot up front. Sweet and sour with infected lemon and mild rubber. Rather low bitterness.

Zalaz Paraisópolis, Minas Gerais

"Safra 2020" (Vintage 2020). On tap at Tap Tap Bar, pours black with a small beige head. Aroma hints at an infection… tart fruits, ugh. Flavour is completely sour — this is mega-infected, just fucking awful. Maybe this was good a few years ago. Now, this shouldn’t be sold.

Lervig Stavanger, Rogaland

--Sample, thanks oh6gdx! -- Clear pale golden, rich head. Aroma of tutti frutti kids candy. Sweet with thin body and clean mouthfeel. Just loads of perfumy artificial candy. No bitterness.

FEMSA - Cuauhtémoc-Moctezuma (Heineken) Monterrey/Orizaba, Nuevo León

Very light yellow with weak white head. Aroma is grainy as heck. Light, fizzy, watery mouthfeel. Corn water and grass. Not much flavor. Zero hops or malt. Only 10.4 ounce bottles. The kicker is this stuff was almost $11 USD for a six pack. Insanely overpriced sparkling water.

Brewski Helsingborg, Skåne

Tap at 100 piv. Full body, medium carbonation. Totally ridiculous very high mouth-puckering level of boring lacto sourness. Paired with shitloads of vanilla, which overpowers everything. Medium sweetness. Medium lemon. Not only not beery at all, and I mean AT ALL. It is also hard to drink and unappetizing. Just bad.

Privatbrauerei Eichbaum Mannheim Mannheim, Baden-Württemberg

Aroma : Extremely dank toffee malts & some grassy hoppiness. Not great! Taste : Thin body, watery texture. Flavours are as aroma, a dank toffee maltiness & hoppiness. Poor!

Aass Bryggeri Drammen, Viken

Taste of sweet malt and bitterness. The beer has high fruitiness with hints of citrus. Kind of boring in my opinion, but not bad for a non alko beer.

Aass Bryggeri Drammen, Viken

Never been a big fan of these light beers, but I had to taste this one. Boring and tasteless in my opinion.

Moksa Brewing Company Rocklin, California

Tap at Mikkeller & Friends, Copenhagen. Color is deep golden with very small head. Aromas and flavors: Pineapple, sugary sweetness....

Kaufland Europe Neckarsulm, Baden-Württemberg

gebraut in Polen für einen deutschen Konzern, der es in der Slowakei verkauft und getrunken in Österreich. Wobei es egal ist, wo man das Zeug trinkt: Es schmeckt immer grauslich 🤮. Es ist eine Mischung aus miesem klebrig-süßen Bockbier👊 und abgestandenen Mineralwasser 🍶, das man nachher noch mit CO2 versetzt hat, um es spritziger erscheinen zu lassen. Der wässrige Teil ist aber noch der bessere Part 〽️ ist. Absolut nicht zu empfehlen.

Bochkarevskij Pivovarennyj Zavod Bochkari, Tselinny ray., Altai Krai

450ml can. Pours pale yellow with a small white head. Aroma is malt, faintly fruity. Taste is light sweet, malt. No bitterness in the finish. Ultra light bodied. Lame fizzy yellow beer-water.